Can you speak Mandarin? Can you sky dive? Have you written your book?
Instead of answering “no” try “not yet”. Feel the difference. “Not yet” is full of future possibility.
A school in Chicago graded exam papers either ‘pass’ or ‘not yet’. Leading motivation researcher Carol S. Dweck applauded them. Her research over many years shows how empowering ‘not yet’ can be. It leaves the door open – and helps develop a ‘growth’ mindset.
Resilience leads to success
When the brain searches for alternatives, as it will when faced with a ‘not yet’, it grows new neural pathways. Challenge is a source of inspiration.
When we call ourselves a failure it can be like shutting the door. Our inner voice is always happy to stop us from doing something in case we fail.
Dr. Dweck describes the outstanding results of praising students for their resilience and strategy – not praising them for their cleverness or intelligence.
Children praised for intelligence were often afraid to try out more difficult assignments because they didn’t want to risk falling from the pedestal.The ones who were instead praised for their determination and resilience would try again and try harder.
We know that in business that the difference between success and failure is resilience. Resilience is the grit to keep going, to keep looking for answers, to stay grounded when the banks refuse your application, when a supplier goes broke or when the clients are complaining. There’s something of this in the attitude of Sarah Blakeley who grew up knowing resilience leads to success.
The power of ‘not yet’ is that it develops a ‘growth’ mindset.
Watch Carol Dweck explain in more detail: